Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Why Wonder Why

 Blessed are those who give without remembering
and take without forgetting
There are many things I hold in great wonder and beauty. There are few things I wonder about; most things are accepted immediately as simply part of life's lessons, to explore the values of which ever learning path or curve tread upon. Such an enriching process from which we all evolve & become. Wonderment is always a constant companion, a great source of stimulation & pleasing contemplation. Sometimes to 'wonder why' about circumstance  is a most worthy opponent to the usual inner calm, internal peace, tranquility & trust. During such 'sometimes' the "wonder why" becomes "I wonder why I wonder", then naturally descending into  the realms of "I wonder why I wonder why" which ultimately leads to "wondering why I wonder why I wonder why I wonder"  You can see simply how wondering can take us furthest from the facts.  'Thinking' can cause all sorts of explorations - adventures into the corridors of the mind, passages of confusion, dimly lit avenues of reasoning. All kinds of minds varying kinds of reasoning. Further thinking  -which isn't always a good thing to do - concluding thoughts naturally form judgements, thoughts draw conclusions or thoughts may even take on board the influence of such thoughts depending upon the person from which they were first bore. Proving even when they're anothers thoughts somehow they can still become - infuse & flavour - part of your own.  Which gives birth to much more contemplation wondering then but who owns the thought, in whose cellular level will the emotion of the thoughts deposit themselves. Therefore one must  then ask oneself who does the problem then belong to.  Should you then consider the intention of the thoughts before they were shared before you own them.  All seems way too complicated for me. Wandering & wondering my way around the many corridors of many such pondering, intentions & subsequent action it struck me recently how little control people really have over their minds, their thoughts & actions depending upon their internal balance & eagle eyed vision. Wondering just how much of their Soul governs their way of being, or how much their ego controls their way of doing.  The intentions of actions - do they serve the greater good for all or simply for the self, serving a trait of narcissism. A craving for the approval & attention of others which drifts way beyond the realms of decency.  How far I wonder would you go to receive such acceptance and approval from those you love, those you don't particularly love, those you know, those you don't know at all. I wonder at the seduction, the needs & the sacrifices - the lengths such needs would wander to receive their adoration, How far would you go to fit in, to be needed to be part of & wanted.  To celebrate the values of such pleasures, the cost of such entwining . Would you sell your soul because your ego needs so much more & anyone's more is good enough or does some little inner voice of wisdom & conscience lead you back to authenticity & truth. Hauling you back from treading the long endless trek of self serving gratitude. To celebrate just how special you are, just how important you are - as if there's some contract formed with every exchange of expression or kindness.  The expectations of owning & of being owed something in return ..  if there is no return then hell hath no fury than the narcissists needs. 
Inadvertently I wandered into anothers wonders, I of course had many choices I could wonder too & become the product of needs, my needs & necessity. I could of course observe, feel the choices, understand the needs & draw conclusions that for the greater good we all at some point are influenced by our own needs more than others. My overwhelming moment wanting to exchange my opinions in the defence of another far less able. To explore why some folk intentionally tell lies, intentionally set out to cause hurt & pain - intentionally do things which cause a lot of people a lot of upset & destruction. All for their own selfish self serving needs & gain.  Perhaps in a survival situation, or circumstances beyond our control its instinctive to self serve but in general - all as one.  Always I guess our choices reflect our inner mechanics. Naturally, its so much easier to consider others make choices similar to our own. Maybe its because we have no comprehension to be any other way so we naturally assume most folk are similar in morals &  outlook. As if there's a common rule of thumb for all.  Perspectives are after all a reflection of all that surrounds us & a reflection perhaps of all within us.  This proves fascinating when you come up against the splintering of all which we assume keeps us together can be equal to all which keeps us apart. Love binds us together in many ways  it also, it seems,  restricts & restrain some. Rising insecurities, jealousy, control & fear. The counterparts of great love. 

For me, life remains most simple if all things, people attitudes & ways are considered in the court of love, the chambers of the unconditional love. The simplicity of bringing warmth & peace, simplicity of being a giver rather than a taker. To share unconditional love & all offerings without any expectation of rewards, acknowledgement or other. To simply want to bring harmony, to create peace, to bring light into any darkened situations. Instinctively, we don't have to wonder whether its right or wrong to help someone - its just an instinctive way of being.  So then, when there are ulterior motives, when the end gain isn't best for the person supposedly being helped assumptions are made, limitations are formed as liberties are taken. Either way, when one gives their time & help to another its is usually the help the recipient not inadvertently to please & help oneself.  Unless of course narcissism  is entrenched deeply within every single action & thought. When self is far greater than Soul ( my understanding is the Soul serves all) when approval is more significant then anonymity & humility. Much & many have made me wonder. so many things considered, many qualities of being contemplated. Loyalty, kindness & truth.  How far would you go to prove to another such qualities truly dwell within you, what would be the cost of such fierce competitiveness. I say competitiveness because if one was loyal, kind & true you would just be oneself, happy to be & do without any need to prove such worth & value. The acts of kindness in such cases many times are quite invisible to most except the recipient. Its when the ego of narcissism needs to feed its unquenchable hunger  
Often there can be so many details in this kind of play, the role of the taker, the role of the rescuer, the role of the teacher. The question being, do you help someone enough so they fully depend upon you - so you are constantly needed & maybe feel important or do you teach & help someone to be fully self sufficient & as happy as they can be in their circumstances.  
If you're sitting in bath full of grubby water - do you invite many more people to jump into the filth to make it worse or do you pull the plug so you can fill the bath with pure, clean running water. Then with a little care, planning & compliance all can benefit from the water even if all can't bathe at the same time.
After witnessing premeditated destruction of many good & wonderful long established relationships - when I was thinking I concluded - through the greed, insecurities & narcissism of others needs being greater than the ones of those who needed help - after many circles were travelled I quickly exited my mind, dived into the oceans of compassion, empathy & love dwelling deep within deciding to pray.
For those who need our prayers & love most - may their conscience awaken.  May they feel the error of their ways & know how to repair all damage.  May they find inner peace & contentment thus allowing others to be peaceful 7 content too. May they discover self approval & self awareness is enough when kindness is their guidance.  May they learn from their mistakes & move on.  May they find love , friendship & contentment in their lives.  Bless those who need blessings the most. Pray for all those reeling back in heartache & pain may you find the courage inside to Love those who hurt you most & learn much value from their lessons.
Remembering, we have all the information we need in every given moment if only we trust life, life's process & all sacred entwining.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Nature's Glory

Loving the Spring 
Living on top of a hill, never a moment rolls on by without some sense of awe & wonder. In all the years we've lived here , never have I witnessed the same view more than once. Every moment I am full of gratitude to be able to witness & become as one with the breathtaking beauty of nature. We've had a couple of days filled with glorious sunshine, the most amazing red sunsets & glorious sunrise. Yesterday the day started so beautifully,  the most amazingly powerful rays of sun breaking through the side of our hedge &  tree. It was so sunny & warm so much so we thought a trip to the coast would be great, after a long day of work & study we all decided it was perfect timing to take our little pup to the beach for her very first visit. There's something so nourishing about the warmth of the sun on our naked skin, the feel of the sea breeze on our bare faces, the feel of the sea water beneath our feet. We still were wearing light cardigans or pashmina's  but for evening time it really wasn't cold at all. Our daughter & her boyfriend snuggled together sitting on the sea wall watching the sun set, romantic & peaceful after a hard day with their noses in A level study books all day. We walked hand in hand towards the gentle ebb & flow of the disappearing tide.  The wet sea bed glistening lie a jewelled blanket. Soft warm hues illuminates the Soul as much as it does the shore. The puppy loved the sea, although as the tide was out & we were able to walk for quite a distance on the very wet sea bed, a little ahead of us in shallow waters lay a huge red buoy, bless she was very distracted by this buoy standing very upright, tail vertical & barking half heartedly at it, I say half heartedly as she was terrified of it! (Unfortunately the camera was still in the car, everyone thinking someone else had it without any of us confirming this.)  We giggled & laughed at her antics, she was running in & out of the water, then she followed what she thought was a lone bird, starting to canter after it. Much to her surprise & ours a whole flock of birds which were barely noticeable due to the lighting took to flight. I've never known her run so fast ..  how delightfully funny.  As the sun was setting the sky became illuminated, the horizon full of the most colourful magic and a wee dogs running towards it as fast as her little legs would carry her.  We had to whistle to bring her back before she was too far away. She returned & lay flat on the wet san, her little rear legs splayed outwards in the most cute way. She was exhausted. We all were still, just watching the sun disappear from our sight, I was thinking, knowing many other's on some distant shore would be, at the very same time, watching its equally colourful spectacular arrival  - how amazing.  A little bit of sunshine, a wondrous world & the phenomena of nature all combined bring the most perfect reminder there is much more to life than all the marketing companies in the world try to portray. A life of only natures goodness & natures store; the vegetables, fruits & flowers, the trees, plants, bushed & shrubs, the ocean, seas, rivers & babbling brooks .. its phenomenal seasons & a night sitting outside around the fire pit. I could quite happily live with all things natural, only from nature as my neighbour, entertainment & guide. Nature's Creative Glory.

Our Little Lady :)

Tuesday, 5 April 2011


We've just had  the most lovely consequences with an unexpected visitor.  Bless, a dear lady who travelled quite a distance for some much needed  support, some expertise assistance to a tricky job she needed doing.  (not on herself I hasten to add but something which belongs to her) Knowing she had eventually found the right person & place to receive such guidance she sat waiting in our kitchen whilst the maestro himself looked at the lady's problem. The expert it deemed it was't an easy job, it was going to be quite a while,  suggesting perhaps I could make his customer comfortable whilst she waited.  So, as always I thought how best to make her comfortable . . trying to evaluate specifics . . ie was she warm enough, a tea or coffee drinker, books or newspaper reader,  a biscuit or a piece of cake.  After all I'd made the most delicious cake for Mothering Sunday & there was plenty left to share. The dear stranger sitting in my kitchen looked ever so nervous, very agitated & distressed. In my humble opinion, in much need of a temporary haven - a one of peace, empathy & comfort.  Perhaps the Victoria sponge would be a nice portion towards such comforts, after all love & healing can be sensed in so many different ways. Many many  totally unexpected & unorthodox ways.  Without a word spoken a soothing healing can be sensed if an arms is put around you to offer warmth & support. A touch of a hand, a gesture you're not alone etc. Like sharing a cuppa tea & a piece of cake & just sitting there, quiet & undemanding . . patiently listening.  Just as the Victoria sponge is made with love, tended to most carefully then when baked  lovely layers of filling - in this instance with raspberries & whipped cream - are tenderly spread. Considering energy pervades & permeates the host & recipient, who then becomes the host I find the love, the happiness oozing within every molecular ingredient extends from the lovingly made cake into the recipient. After an hour of warm care & indulgence, cake, tea & a warming hug. The lovely lady, who entered as a fragmented spirit left in a much happier state of being, the fragments becomes whole again, The nervous frayed energy becomes vibrant, smooth & strong.  Our alchemical prowess to maintain balance, equilibrium can always be seduced, ignited & invigorated by love, kindness & a little happiness. Our inherent knowledge knows how to prioritise, to be like a sponge to soak up positive nourishment.  Its most natural for our body, mind & Soul to feel harmony, to be in balance & at peace. Imbalance isn't a natural state of being.  It always brings me great joy & comfort to witness that no matter how great the problem, no matter how impossible the situation seems - always a little kindness goes a very long way. The problem may not be solved but the person feels a whole load better for sharing. I think we should all 'spread' a little happiness as easily as we would spread our jam & cream onto a cake :).  No ego, no fear of rejection, no fear of humiliation - just give freely love, warmth & time with all of our hearts  - give a little bit more than usual.  There are so many ways to create happiness in our world & the world of others, many many ways to bring happiness into our lives & theirs just because our paths cross. Most significantly the echoes of happiness last way beyond the moment in time shared, it becomes a memory in which we can often return, dive into & embrace like a long lost friend. We may forget the time, the place the circumstances but how that person made you feel - you will never forget!!  During gloomy grey days, a little sunshine lightens, brightens & opens up into a brand new  day. Its the same with happiness, to share & sprinkle such laughter & fun, love & joy seems paramount to our sense of cheerfulness. The elation, ecstasy, the raptures & bliss transports us physically & emotionally to a wonderful feeling of contentment.  I'm baking another cake knowing I have many more peeps crossing my threshold this week, I shall offer them all cake with their cuppa, just maybe it could act as a small delicate lifeline to normality in a world of chaos :) always throw out a lifeline, someone somewhere may just need it :)
spread a little jam & cream - share a little happiness 

Saturday, 2 April 2011


The heart is an organ of perception. It must not be confused with a state of mind & all limitations. We are created from the union of two cells, we are born from Creative Love. We are thus LOVE in abundance. When we take responsibility for our part in the passionate, positive changes which transform our Universe within through Unconditional Loving we are indeed dauntless. To act as if every thing we do, every thought we make makes a difference. To accept we have all we need within, we have infinite power pervading every single cell, system & wholeness of our being. Thus if we already have the power, then I guess its having the courage we need to learn how to harness & utilise such power.  Moving through the shadows of fear, the integrity of inner truth. There is something so necessary about commitment, honour, integrity, inner calm, compassion, responsibility to the whole, humility, courage, joyous sense of wonder to all newness in every given moment. Being conscious. Often so many of us introduce ourselves as what we do, what our occupation is .. from this it seems we are then simultaneously recognised & popped into a little container with a label attached. From the second we enter the schooling system we are encouraged, one day to be something.  To have a grand career, wonderful prospects, fabulous qualifications to assist our goals in all our ambitions - all which are undoubtedly admirable traits.  Yet equally, I feel we should also recognise the genius of Soul within us. The inherent knowledge nature shares within us in every single moment of our creation. The amazing phenomena that is our mind, our body & Soul. The amazing phenomena of love, healing love & the power of kindness. How amazing if we could teach such perfect sense of balance between the intellect & the instinct - to utilise all as our greatest assets.  When children are taught the significance of life, of love & of community & kindness, honour & responsibility.
The honour code between neighbours, the boundaries between some common ground of what is right & what is wrong.  What is acceptable & what isn't acceptable. So many people lie & hurt each other, so many lie & hurt themselves. No sense of the miracle that is life, the truth os togetherness - seeing & feeling only of the struggles & obstacles between us.  At times I feel as if we're drowning in an enormous wave of mediocrity. trying to catch our breath & return to the shores of humanity & great intelligence that is creation, nature & community in such great natural surroundings. So many seem to be wandering the earth asleep, many finding recognition, excitement  & a sense of aliveness  belonging  in hollow characters of celebrity status & mass manufactured artificial flavourings.  Such transient attachments . When to stop to think of so many different ways our lives are being influenced I limit the field of my perception & all crumbles into a state of confusion - yet when I do & act from the Unconditional Soul within, I believe in a sense of togetherness, a sense of belonging far greater than our place in our families,  becoming love &  peace realising that to continue to share love & peace is of paramount importance to our Spiritual heritage. We must never doubt the power of love, the power or even the tiniest flicker of light even the smallest flame can bring. To all dauntless Souls. draw breath & know you are not alone. Shine your love & light - the world needs our truth, our sense of peace & endless bringers & givers of great love.

Friday, 1 April 2011

Tis True Truth

Many years ago I was rambling, writing about trusting. Yesterday I mentioned responsibility - owning ones own actions & feelings. It got me thinking again about truths, how trusting is an important, constant companion when exploring truth & being true. Observing that 'trusting' is so easy when the going is good, its when the going gets tough that 'trusting'  falters, doubt quivers & faith is down on its knees gasping its last breath. Truth has always haunted my conscience, my every action & thought. I recall having the audacity to tell the truth as a child!! Much to the annoyance of others. Hence you learn to keep such observations quiet until you almost burst from containment. As whether you speak such truths or swallow & conceal such truths either way they're still sensed cellular level, a gut reaction or heart felt. One cant ignore a truth hurtling within, one can try but good luck to anyone who tries to defy their own truths. Insanity ensues aswell as chaos.  Chaos & insanity being equal in power as much the power of truth itself.  Especially when in the face of opposition, chaos & delusional deceptions. I guess looking back,  the difference between speaking truths being much easier than it was some, was the overwhelming feeling of peace sensed within. Harmony, a congruence between mind, body & Soul. Or maybe it was also the total lack of fear, no concerns of retribution or subsequent consequence & change. Trusting 'what was meant to be, would be'. Being accountable for my own feelings, thoughts & actions laced with an unwavering faith in my journey, me experiences & all lessons.  Its a way of being, an authentic path of knowing, recognising thine self & being true regardless of the chaos which ensues that journey . . and chaos does ensue the truth.  Yet its a freedom everyone should taste, to live comfortable with all decisions, to embrace changes, to actively, authentically play our part in the grand scheme of life. A sincerity from the heart. Feed our strengths to flourish, to bring harmony & a feeling of essential wholeness. Fuel the fears & illusions at our peril. The truth is always simple - best keep it that way :)

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