Simplicity

We have friends from a few hundred miles away - they're from upd North  - staying here with us down South. Usually I'm the one who stays in their home, I'm the one visiting North to see the family, to catch up with friends when I'm there. During the many many moons which have passed since I moved away it isn't often peeps travel down South.  Not sure if its just my lot, or its the general case. You move away from your family home & its as if you've disappeared out of their lives for good. Of course theres always the intention, "Oooh we must come down to see you this year" .. of course it just never happens. Perhaps its because their lives are exactly the same, same home, same friends, same work, same rituals & routines .. . everything the same except one little person is no longer part of it.  Yet the person who moves away everything is very different - there are no friends, no family, no routines & rituals there is absolutely nothing familiar at all. Even the road signs are full of places never heard of before. Paradoxically its as emotionally difficult as it is awesome & inspirational.  I used to grieve for my life, my family & friends & all things familiar. Used to miss them dreadfully & never felt whole or part of the whole. At times I didnt know where I belonged, I'd feel like an alien here down South yet after months & months of wanting to return North, just to see everyone, I'd go back only to feel I don't belong there either. Such an abundance of emotions, such a challenge to break free from old restraints, full of expectations which could never be fulfilled. Up North, I was surrounded by family & friends, forever people entwined daily into each others lives. Always popping in, always doing things, always sharing & chatting about their lives. Support, always support & kindness. Not the kind of support people come & give when you're ill but the daily kind of invisible support system which is just present because you all live so close to each other & you're always there for each other without even thinking about it. The habits of being part of the whole family & all it entails is entrenched from the cradle to the grave. The family mindset, the unspoken tribes' rules, the way all seem to like each other because they're all one of the same.  Maybe its the tribal mind as opposed to an independent one? Regardless of who we are or what we do, how we behave or don't - its family & through thick or thin, always look after each other. The children have babysitters, the Mum's of all families share the load, support each other, bring the children together & will have coffee & cake together whilst putting the world to right. They all go swimming together, visit theme parks, day at the beach. . . just usual every day stuff . . picnics in the local park. Not a hint of hesitation present when asked or invited to go out anywhere, knowing full well there's a  dozen or so people who can take care of the children. The children consequently are used to lots of support, lots of fun with many different quirky people & personalities. Its all good & healthy.  Life continues just the same, generations after generation, all live in & around the same village, they all know each other & knew their Mothers before them etc. Always Birthdays are celebrated together, Christmases, easter . . any celebration is rejoiced  together!! The old saying it takes a village to raise a child rings true. As the input from all those surrounding such familiarity does have a stabling influence, does create a sense of belonging & security. Of course its very different for the one who got away . . very different for the one who raises the child alone. But, thats a very different story perhaps another day. Today, as I always do, have learnt its the only way, is in this moment - right here - right now I make the best of any situation. Yesterday, and now today I have an extra broad smile, a warmer glow within my heart, a extra sense of contentment simply because, for a few moments in time . . I can feel such pleasures, such security, such joy & feel the benefits of such simple pleasures in life so many take for granted. Waking up & seeing a friend in your home, sitting at the dinner table & having friends walk in & chat about their day & lives. Having friends say words rarely heard ever  "Oh, I'll just pop the kettle on, or that looks nice have you just made that cake today, or let me  help,  can I help you with that"  Always our familiar daily things are never seen by others. So much of our life not shared or seen by my family & Northern friends.

Yet for all those still in the bosom of family life the simplicity of togetherness is so natural & normal. So much so never noticing all the significant ways & things which mould a family together, a life full with networks of instant support systems, an invisible thread which bind them together without any effort whatsoever just because theyre together anyway. Hmmm, but for someone like me, who decides to move away from all of the family & life as we knew it, from all that was familiar normality was never the same again.  To someone who moves away, has no family there is no luxuries of such support systems.  Someone who has never had babysitters, never enjoyed or known  that instant network of family support systems to hand, the simplicity of sharing & caring are something of a rarity & like most things rare . . they are most precious & cherished.  Its such a simple normality to many, but to me to have friends staying with me, in our home, making cups of coffee & yakkering about their lives is simply wonderful & although I have a gorgeous family, wonderful friends its usually always me who travels North to see them.  For the next few days we're all indulging in such simple pleasures, such awesome simplicity of togetherness. Its human Nature to be subconsciously an integral part, to feel being part of the whole  as opposed to independent . .  just like the stunning Spring  blossom  .. unique & independently lovely singularly but when admired as part of the whole tree - awesome :)